What’s a title like this got to do with music? Everything and nothing. It started out as an examination of Kanye and spun into Kimye and then the Duck Dynasty genius opened his mouth and I thought, I’m not going to limit myself because I have too much to say and enough of an audience to say it. Thanks to the 2 of you, otherwise I would be lost. I put it away for a few weeks then reviewed it again after spending a few minutes with the Rich Kids of Beverly Hills this weekend. It made me come back and take a gander because I am convinced the latest batch of reality TV in America is the beginning of the end of our way of life.
The other day in my recording studio, talk was being bantered regarding the Kanye West video for “Bound 2”. I admit I am not a fan of Kanye West and don’t know all of his stuff. I hesitate to call what he does music because I don’t think editing a bunch of old songs together and changing the pitch with a piece of software is really creating music. But I digress.
So, after admitting to the much cooler and hipper producer in my studio that day that I had not seen or heard the Bound treatment, we went to the inter web and pulled up the video. About 45 seconds into it I turned to Super Dave and asked if this was the right video, since I had seen something about a parody floating around (Seth Rogen and James Franco rocked that shit BTW). I was told to just keep watching. I made it through the video and afterwards found myself still questioning if it was real or not. When I was assured it was the real video and song I burst out in a fit a laughter. Super Dave provided the the title for today’s blog based on my reaction and he is right. America needs to be mad at this raging egomania. Seriously, I remember when an artist released crappy music, art or fashion and got nailed to the wall, took the experience and learned from it. Now it’s fashionable to blame it on critics and race and ignore what experts and the general public think. The reaction to your latest artistic endeavor is not because you’re black or because you’re a genius no one understands Kanye. It’s because it sucks.
I am far from ignorant of the Kanye West experience. I just choose not to listen to his albums because they lack musicality. I generally avoid speed metal (the type fronted by Cookie Monster) for the same reason. I also do not subscribe to the theory that he is a genius or a rock star. The only thing Kanye West has done well is continuing the Kardashian-ization (my word) of America. His video of him and Kim having sex on a motorcycle is one of the worst pieces of crap I have ever wasted 3 and half minutes of my life on. If I could sue those 2 for my time back I would. But I applaud their decision to get together. The 2 of them are in running for the biggest ego on the planet and they should make a supernova celebrity experience. Maybe they’ll blow up like one too. Seriously, who the hell is Kim Kardashian? She and her sisters are famous because their father was a successful lawyer who made a lot of money. They go to clubs and premieres and mug for cameras in constant self promotion mode. As a result, the world is full of talentless people who think a lot of followers on Facebok and Instagram is all it takes to be a star. Who needs talent, hard work and creative ideas? All you need to be a successful fashion designer, perfume designer, singer, producer, actor, NBA wife or whatever the hell these women are is some trashy looks, whorish attitudes, a lot of money to buy your way into exclusivity. Just like the girls that went to Shermer High. (You either got this or didn’t, Google it).
Of course you can always turn your attention to another fascinating piece of reality TV, the Jesus preaching, family value touting, first family of duck calls. Duck Dynasty has let the world know you might be a redneck if……well you get the picture. And it would be easy to call Phil Robertson an ignorant redneck, but lets be realistic, he’s not. He’s far from it. He has a college degree and a Masters to boot. I don’t care how good your duck calls are, no one builds a company, fortune and entire lifestyle like he has by being stupid. He appeals to a very specific target audience and he is damn good at it. Phil has made no secret that he is a born again Christian and believes his television show is a pulpit for him to spread the word of Jesus from. He’s stated this very thing on multiple occasions. I’m cool with that since last time I checked, I had the option of changing the channel whenever he comes on. I generally don’t have to because Arts and Entertainment has ceased being concerned with either.
Just this past week in Montgomery, AL little Sadie Roberton was giving a motivational speech to a crowd of followers who paid $45 a piece to be there. What kind of experience does a 14 year old child of a multimillionaire from backwater Louisiana have to make her a motivational speaker? I guess she needs to teach other kids (it was sponsored by a local Christian High School) what 4 wheeler is best? Plugging the new line of Duck Dynasty rifles? Getting an early start on building her social media followers? Who knows what Sadie was sharing with all the boys and girls at her motivational speech; I didn’t go and my 13 year old daughter thought the same thing I did; who the hell is Sadie Robertson? But someone made an ass pile of money from the event. I wonder when she does her homework? And speaking of money, I wonder why no one has asked how much the Duck Dynasty/A+E bottom line grew from the purchases made by their fan base in the weeks after the “scandal”. Which coincidentally enough happened during the Christmas shopping season and ended just days after.
American Reality TV is truly a spectacle upon which much of the world must certainly take into consideration when forming it’s hostile and sometimes violent reaction to the United States. Most people in the world (neigh, this country) could care less about our foreign policy, the internal struggles of our busted political system or the frailty of our economy. They don’t know enough about it to care. But mention Kimye and people from Japan to Sweden know who you’re talking about. Like it or not, people like Kimye, the Robertsons and the RKBH are what a large portion of the world base their opinions of American culture and life on. Worldwide this country is seen as either arrogant, spoiled and shallow or as bunch of gun toting, ignorant backwoods rednecks. When we have cultural ambassadors like this representing us, its no wonder. When I see these people I also have to ask myself who the hell is watching this crap? Has the population of our country gotten so shallow and concerned with hair and makeup that we forgo common sense and decency. I heard one of the Kardashian girls talking about “people of her status” not getting treated fairly by the media. I heard some RKBH talking about finally getting a place of her own at age 25 so she could be more independent. So she had Mom and Dad buy her a $3 million apartment in LA because because it met her most important criteria for a home; it was within 5 miles of Barney’s. Who the fuck are these people and why are they on television? None of them have accomplished anything meaningful in life, unless you count Kanye’s contribution to the music world (I don’t). A recent expose on Kim K revealed she was in hot water because of her charity drive distributions. Seems the only thing Kimmy knows how to do at minimum is donate to those less needy. Ebay requires a minimum of 10% of proceeds from charity auctions to actually go to charity, a number Kim has generally followed. When questioned about this minimalistic approach, Kim state that she gives a lot more to charity in private, without any type of publicity. Really? The girl who couldn’t keep her sex life off of TV decides to draw the line at self promotion by only revealing a portion of her charity? I’m gonna call BS on this.
I guess my problem is the tremendous influence these TV personalities have. News sites, channels, even whole networks constantly cover these people. Over the Christmas holiday between December 23, 2013 to January 3, 2014 I stopped counting when the number of separate news items about the Robertson’s crossed 50 and the Kardashian’s Christmas Party crossed 12. Mind you, I’m not talking about all pictures they put up of themselves, just the stories on news sites that reported this tidbit. At least the Duck guy had something to say, even if it was ignorant to the plight of gays and blacks throughout history.
I lump the RKBH, Kimye and clan and the Robertsons’ together because they are the cut from the same cloth. What? How can you even begin to think that the Kardashians are the same as the Robertsons? The Robertsons are the anti-Kardashians. They’re a family that preaches about Christianity and Family Values while the Kardashians are materialistic sluts. At the end of the day these 2 families and the rest of the RKBH are the same. They are nothing more than people who have the right combination of money, ego, business sense and low moral standards to make a commodity out of the the way they live their life. The only difference between the Kardashians and the Robertsons is their target audience. In the end, the are both interested in one thing: your money.